Denying, Minimizing, Projecting ... Healing - What will you choose?!?!!!

 The Sun is high in the sky and the wind chimes blow gently in the summer's breeze. With a beautiful panorama in my gaze, I contemplate the ever awkward and mostly uncomfortable interactions I have within the 'American Culture' daily. I dream of my Euro-Asian experiences post tour and miss the balanced 'bio-freshe' communal minded 'way of being'. With the global idea of America being 'the richest most powerful country in the world' (we all 'know' better) I find that we may, infact, be the over indulged, spoiled rotten, screaming 2 year old with big toys crushing and destroying whatever stands in our way. Swinging our swords against each other in our daily interactions and against anyone daring to stand in our way globally. Why is this?  With this question, I take a look within at my own life experience and social interactions 'this lifetime'.  It is my personal belief, that I must heal myself and my ancestral DNA before my life is over so that I may transcend the cycle of re-incarnation. To lay 'my burden' down or mend the DNA strands that were broken when my ancestors were violently forced to come to 'America' via slave ship to become someone else's 'property' for commercial greed. This experience from my 'African descent', as a bi-racial 'fully passing' individual needs to be acknowledged, embraced and re-embroidered. Most ironically, the other half of my reality is derived from the perpetrator of this 'skin trade' as the decendent of a Welsh/Scottish tradition. As the decendent of two 'opposing forces', I find myself in a uniquely challenging position as the daughter of both the 'victim' and the 'perpetrator'.

How do I reconcile the fact of being the progeny of 'black and white' forces in the universe? I realize that it is within my being, grasp and DNA restructuring capabilities to acknowledge and heal my interestingly woven reality. On the precipice on which I stand, I am personally willing to acknowledge and own the slaughter, greed, volatility, abuse, rape, pilage and plunder of my 'perpetrating ancestors' inflicted upon my 'ancestoral victims' who were displaced, severely abused, raped, stripped, tortured, sodomized and murdered in the name of 'capitolism'. Both the giving and receiving of such heinous activities are tightly woven into my own personal structure and I am physically unable to deny either experience. This I must acknowledge and address from the very 'center' of my existence. Wholly realizing that this is why, when I am met with a challenging social interaction, I am no longer willing or able to 'receive' the perpetrator/bully mentality of my ancestral experience nor am I willing to 'take it'; thus, I find myself revolting whole heartedly from the core of my being in protection and retaliation of my position so deeply justified. However, I realize that my increasingly strong actions of retaliation and revolt may not be the solution to such violent perpetration, nor is succoming. But rather, owning, feeling and constructively conducting this energy into a neutral space of observation may just be the solution for such a precarious tight rope walk over the abyss I call existence.  

Instead of feeding the perpetrator energy by reacting, fighting and justifying; perhaps, completly negating the energy entirely is the answer. How is the energy of perpetration negated? By healing the wounded 'victim energy' of my ancestral DNA chain in acknowledgment of the hardships created by the perpetrator and by holding healthy, strong but non-confrontational boundaries for the perpetrator in much the same way a boundary is held for a fit throwing 2 year old. 'No, you cannot treat me this way; no, you cannot talk to me this way; no, you cannot harm me or project upon me in this way; no, you can no longer conquer/destroy because I am not available for 'playing the game'. By putting the burden down and walking away without feeding the fire is my only recourse as I stand in the very middle of my own ancestral fire. I believe Gandhi practiced this notion of passive resistance, yes? Am I suggesting to allow the injustices to occur? Absolutely not, but if there is no charge, hook or reaction there is no 'game'. If the perpetrator is continually evaded and observed rather than reacted toward then eventually the natural course of self-destruction occurs. 

So, I refuse to give the 'perpetrator energy' of my reality any more of my time, energy or reaction; thus, quelling the screaming two year old into a permanent state of non-exclusionary time out. I have compassion for and hold the 'victim energy' of my reality gently and sweetly while promising to notice, protect and act on behalf of my entire well-being as I mend the broken seems of the DNA of my ancestral lineage.

Enjoy these  links and begin your own healing journey...

Gramma's Genes Are Your Genes!

Are you a 'GWC', Grown Wounded Child?




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